Prioritizing Safety: Steps to Take When Divorcing an Abusive Partner

Divorcing an abusive partner is a challenging and complex process. Prioritizing safety is essential. Here are steps you can take to protect yourself during this difficult time.

Seek Support

Start by reaching out to trusted friends and family. They can provide emotional support and practical help. You might also consider contacting a local domestic violence shelter. These organizations offer resources and safe spaces.

Document Everything

Keep a detailed record of any abusive incidents. Include dates, times, and descriptions of what occurred. This documentation can be crucial if you need to seek legal protection or custody of children.

Save any threatening messages, emails, or voicemails. These can serve as evidence if needed. Make sure to store this information in a safe place where your partner cannot access it.

Create a Safety Plan

A safety plan is a personalized strategy to stay safe while in the relationship, planning to leave, or after leaving. It includes steps like:

• Identifying safe areas in your home where you can go if an argument occurs.
• Having a packed bag ready with essential items like clothes, important documents, and money.
• Establishing a code word with friends or family to signal when you need help.

In addition to a restraining order, you might need to address custody and visitation issues. A lawyer can help you navigate these complex matters to ensure the safety of your children.

Financial Independence

Financial control is a common tactic used by abusive partners. Start by opening a separate bank account in your name. Save money whenever possible. Gather important financial documents like bank statements, pay stubs, and tax returns.

Emotional Support

Leaving an abusive relationship is emotionally draining. Consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide a safe space to process your feelings and develop coping strategies.

Support groups are another valuable resource. Connecting with others who have faced similar situations can provide comfort and practical advice.

Final Steps

Once you have taken these steps, make sure to follow through with your plans. Keep your safety plan updated. Continue to document any incidents. Stay in touch with your support network.

Remember, prioritizing your safety is the most important thing. Take each step at your own pace. Seek professional help when needed. You are not alone in this journey.